Monday, January 3, 2011

A Mom's Top 10 Ways To Start a New Year

10. Clean out your undies drawer. I mean, who needs last year's Hanes Her Way styles anyway?

9. Collect all of last year's magazines lying around your house and take them to the recycle bin. Wait, I need that one and that one...okay, those can go...oooh, look what she's wearing! Mmmm...I should make this for dinner tonight. Why am I in the garage again?

8. Call HazMat. (see #7)

7. Vacuum every nook and cranny of your home. I'll get you, you vile filth! No more dead skin cells collecting in THIS house, you hear? Oh, look, baby - I found your lost sippy cup of milk...that is now a hazmat situation...

6. Go through kids' closets and drawers to clear out all the clothes that no longer fit them. Sort into piles of "save", "sell" and "donate". Add up in your mind how much money you could make from consignment versus garage sale. Add up in your mind how much you spent for all those clothes in the first place. Put them back in the drawers. They can wear those a little longer.

5. Choose a diet/exercise regimen that will work for you in this phase of your life. Being very realistic, check into zumba classes, weight watchers and possibly just finding friends who don't care if you get fatter this year.

4. Carefully repack all the Christmas decorations and tree ornaments that you so tediously displayed last month. Except for the baby Jesus from nativity #3, which has suddenly gone missing. Along with a sheep and a nutcracker.

3. Rearrange the furniture. New year, new look! Be sure to vacuum under there. Oh. My. Word. Honey, I just found a memory card, $20 and your driver's license!

2. Do a happy dance for the family routines coming back online! School, naps, regular eating, everyone sleeping in their own beds again, predictability. Budget, schedule, responsibilities... SCHOOL, NAPS, REGULAR EATING, EVERYONE SLEEPING IN THEIR OWN BEDS AGAIN... (gotta focus on the positives)

1. Take stock of the goals you accomplished last year. Write out your goals for your family and for yourself for this new year. Make a spreadsheet of steps to help you get there month-by-month. Or just take a power nap before the baby wakes up.

But, in all prayer for each one of you reading this ridiculous list is that you will know the presence of the Lord much stronger in your life this year than ever before. I pray that the eyes of your heart will be enlightened to know how immensely vast your Father's love is for you. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be your shield and your rear guard and will guide you into all Truth. I pray that you will see yourself for who you truly are - the way your Father sees you - the glorious, powerful, influential you. I pray for divine wisdom to rest on you as you nurture your family and train your children. I pray for a fresh anointing over your life to rise up into all you are created and called to be. I pray victory in your life and in your home in the name of Jesus!

Make this year the one where you get to know your amazing God better than ever before. He is waiting to dance with you!

Blessings for 2011!


  1. Were you hiding in my house?! ;) Totally rockin' your list at the Star house! ANd girl gonna wrap myself up in that prayer tonight and say Amen ... amen ... amen!!! So be it!

    Love you!

  2. You are one AMAZING woman and so darn hilarious...I love reading your blog! So glad I call you friend, you are truly a blessing!! Happy New Year!

  3. really funny list coupled with a very powerful prayer that will be read multiple times, love it! Glad it is stored here, and not in a magazine. ;)

  4. Love this wonderfully funny list and amazing prayer Crista! Thank you for praying it over us - I will be doing that myself now as well! You truly ARE a blessing!