Monday, March 28, 2011

Certain of Life's Uncertainties

So, why is it that as soon as you pack up all the winter clothes...and you have had weeks of warm temps....that you get a bone-chilling cold snap?! And how about when you roll all your random coins from your car cubbies and deposit them at the bank...only to find yourself on an unfamiliar TOLL ROAD?!

The only things certain in life are the uncertainties, my friend!

Recognize any of these?

-Too much month left at the end of the money
-Pay off your car only to roll it into the shop
-Pull out all the ingredients to bake something and find that someone just used the last two eggs
-Plan a pool party only to watch the torrential downpour
-Share a heartfelt conversation and have something you said come back to bite you
-Step out of your comfort zone and fall flat on your face

...I could go on, but I think you're with me.

Sometimes, it just seems like a great big cosmic joke - and everyone's laughing but you. This is where so many people start questioning God's love, God's plan and even His existence. They can't reconcile their heartaches with a "so-called 'loving' God." Maybe this is you that I'm talking about.

Well, let me breathe some faith back into you. God IS real, and He is in hot pursuit after your heart. He sees every disappointment, every heartache and every trick the Enemy throws at you. He feels what you feel and He hurts right along with you.

Hebrews 4:14-16 "Now that we know what we have - Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God - let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all - all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help." (The Message)

The enemy (Satan) wants to rob you of every ounce of hope. He wants to destroy you. He keeps lying to you and throwing darts at you to make you cower and close yourself off. But, do you know who you are? You're not the victim. You're the VICTOR! In Christ, you are the enforcer of His victory. If you have made Jesus the Lord of your life and have experienced a heart exchange from Him, then you don't have to just sit there and "take it" from the enemy! Rise up, sister! Arm yourself with the sword of the Spirit - the Word of God - and cut the enemy down!

John 16:33b "...In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (NIV)

I John 5:4 "For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith." (NLT)

Luke 1:37 "Nothing, you see, is impossible with God." (The Message)

Deuteronomy 20:4 "For the Lord your God is going with you! He will fight for you against your enemies, and he will give you victory!" (NLT)

Joshua 23:10 "One man of you shall chase a thousand, for the Lord your God is He who fights for you as he promised." (NKJV)

Isaiah 54:17 " 'No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,' says the Lord." (NKJV)

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ..." (NKJV)

If you're going to stop playing the part of the victim and start acting like the Victor, then you MUST have faith. How do you get faith? By hearing the Word of God. The Word is living and active. It will dig deep down into your soul, even as far as your spirit and it will make you come alive. If you take in enough nourishment from the Word, you'll have the faith/strength to stand up and be who God says you are - to do the things He does. If I were you, I would get me some Word on an IV drip. Read it, memorize it, listen to it online or on a recording in the car, sing it, talk about it and USE IT to fuel your faith. When you start believing God's Word, you can begin to do the things it talks about - like stop Satan in his tracks and have dominion over your life and family.

Don't give up! RISE up. Buck up. Cheer up. But most of all, LISTEN the Word of God. You won't be disappointed! There's nothing uncertain about that.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The funniest thing I've ever heard

Seems like we could all use some laughs right about now. There is so much heavy stuff pressing on us join me in a laughter break, will you?

Tim and I were watching Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations on TV last night...and, if you don't know, Mr. Bourdain is a colorful individual. He's crass and rough around the edges...but he says some of the funniest stuff! My two favorite lines from the episode last night:

"I feel like forty pounds of crap in a ten pound bag."

(and, well, who hasn't, really?)

"I feel like I've been spit-roasted by the Chechen militia."

(???) and (!!!)

My friend Bradley and I used to laugh as a hobby when we were in college, and he would tell the most hilarious stories about people he encountered...

One of my very favorites is when he - or someone else he knew - was shopping in a grocery store and heard all this commotion on the aisle next to him. It sounded like a mom and her kids trying to get through the store without starting World War III, but all of a sudden, this lady of deep-south ethnicity shouts, "Spatula! I got TWO WORDS for you: BE! HAVE!" (as in, "behave", except all wrong) (and the kid's name was Spatula?!)

Another famous Bradley story is about hearing a different exasperated mother of deep-south ethnicity yelling at her kids...when she had reached her limit she exclaimed in all seriousness, "I will BEAT. YOU. BACK. TO. JESUS." (I have since used that phrase at choice moments in my life...)

And then, there's Craig Ferguson. He's so wrong. And so hilarious. If you're easily offended, just don't watch, okay.

Everybody gets a good laugh from our boy Tom Cruise. Thanks, again, to Craig Ferguson for helping us truly appreciate his madness.

And, if you're just a lot more classic (or classy, should I say), here's one of my all-time favorite comedy pieces from Singing in the Rain. I have posted it a thousand times, but just in case you're the only person who's never partaken:

Make 'Em Laugh

Some other people and sketches that make me laugh so hard I snort/spew my beverage/dry heave, yet am unable to post because I cannot, in good conscience, endorse their content are: (didn't that just sound like a category at the Oscars?!!)

Keenan Thompson in "What Up With That" and his Steve Harvey impersonation on SNL
Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake in "Barry Gibb Talk Show" on SNL
Jimmy Fallon and Bruce Springsteen's "Whip My Hair" - you'll appreciate it if you're a music buff

All of those are easy to find if you just search youtube or google...but you didn't hear it from me....

I hope you've had a few laughs with me - one of my favorite things to do! Love you, my sisters!