Ode to Unwanted Hair

I look in the mirror and stare
At those nasty little out-of-place hairs.
I pluck and I tweeze and I curse and I sneeze
But tomorrow, I know they'll be there.

I invest in the whole line of Nair
And I strategically plan what I wear.
I wax on, I wax off (hairless friends, please don't scoff -
This is reason enough to despair.)

I only do it because I care.
I refuse to look like a bear.
Fingers and toes, upper lip, chin and nose -
Now really, why IS hair THERE?

Fuzzy abdomen or derriere,
Fuzzy ANYTHING, I swear -
Unless it's a sweater, when fuzzier is better -
Will be smooth and pristine, I declare!

Oh, I'll get you, you little gremlin hairs,
Just you wait.  Be scared!
By cream or by laser, by wax or by razor,
You're through!  Toodle-oo!  So, there.


(Don't get me started on the gray ones...)